Nothing to Report Today.

Sorry.

Sex Doll Sparks Post Office Bomb Alert

Yahoo! News - Sex doll sparks post office bomb alert

Keeping the world safe from--latex consorts.

Pooch Rescued From Busy NYC Highway

Yahoo! News - Pooch Rescued From Busy NYC Highway

All right, I know.

At least this is good news.

Everyone Feels Much Safer Now

Oh, yes, they really do.

Nothing to Report Today.

Sorry I've been away so long. But trust me, if anything had actually happened, I'd have been here in a flash.

But nothing happened.